THE VALUE OF RESPECT

THE VALUE OF RESPECT

“My freedom ends where yours begins”. Martin Luther King

Respect is a key human value. It is at the basis of happy and healthy homes and friendly communities because our capacity to respect one another is what helps us live peacefully and in harmony together.

But what does respect mean? How could we explain this important value to a child?

We might begin by saying that respect is another word for care since it implies considering and valuing people, animals, nature at large, and even objects for their own intrinsic worth. When we hold someone or something in high regard they are important for us, and we do not want to harm or hurt them, spoil or damage them in any way with our attitude and conduct. This awareness helps us behave with kindness and politeness when we relate to others. When we lack of this attentiveness we lack of respect.

Respect means being mindful of others’ feelings and opinions, looks, choices and rights; it means being considerate of different cultures, traditions, religions and social status. It kindles a positive outlook and fosters sensitivity, understanding, tolerance, fairness and humility.

However, in spite of the many different perspectives we may encounter and take into account, we need to remain loyal to our own, and fully appreciative of the principles and moral values that we cherish in our hearts. This is what we call self-respect. We respect ourselves when we take good care of our health and foster good habits, too. Respect for others and self-respect should always walk hand in hand.

A good way to show one’s respect is to listen to others, to value their feelings and thoughts, to care for their needs, and to treat them as you would like to be treated, by being solicitous, well mannered, and thankful.

Finally, as we deepen our understanding of the universal core that binds all beings and creation as a whole, the value of respect reaches its spiritual height allowing us to fathom the principle of unity in diversity. To grasp “who we truly are” transforms respect into reverence.

The value of respect is an expression of the five human values of Truth, Right Action, Peace, Love and Nonviolence. When our thoughts, words and deeds are respectful, we promote these values with full appreciation of their inherent meaning and their correlation with the very essence of life.

The man and the cane

An old man with a cane went walking merrily through the streets of the town. He was having great fun twirling and spinning his cane in circles; he felt like the king of the road. Oh, what a jolly good time he was having and how he laughed upon seeing all the passers by running quickly from his sight. Until a brave young man suddenly interrupted his merry making.

“Sir,” said the young man”, “Please pay attention. You could injure someone playing with your cane like that. You just hit my nose and almost blinded me!”

The old man, swollen with pride and arrogance, looked at the young man square in the eye.

 “Pay attention? You mean… uh… to you?” he blurted harshly. “Well… I am in total disagreement with that, for I have the right to do as I please and like!” He exclaimed.

The young man replied kindly but firmly. “Yes, sir. You are free to do as you please, but your freedom ends where my nose begins!”

Bowing: a sign of respect

In many cultures bowing is a sign of respect and veneration. Its main purpose is to dispel selfish motives and offer oneself lovingly to the other. By doing so one “empties out” egoistic impediments that block a heart-to-heart communication. Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh has said:

"The one who bows and pays respect,
And the one who receives the bow and the respect,
Both of us are empty.
That is why the communion is perfect."

Thich Nhat Hanh