THE VALUE OF PATIENCE

THE VALUE OF PATIENCE

Patience is a vital virtue that must be assiduously cultivated, if one is to successfully face troubles and tribulations. Without patience and the capacity for forbearance, one becomes spiritually weak. Such weakness leads to bad feelings, undesirable thoughts, and unbecoming actions. When patience is gone, the greatest of men get reduced to utter fools.  (Sathya Sai, May 2000).

Since time immemorial, the quality of patience has been upheld by all cultures as the “Queen of virtues”. The calm state of mind that helps us face adversity and problems of all kinds, with serene acceptance, is such that the value of patience has the reputation of being among the greatest virtues of the strong. Patience enables us to balance stress and emotions, to be more understanding and maintain a sense of proportion, thus averting impulsive reactions. 

On the other hand, if this precious virtue is missing, we can easily become irritable, rigid and angry, to the point of saying things that we will one day be sorry about. When our lack of detachment does not allow us to reflect and adopt a positive attitude towards what may be going contrary to our will, we become annoyed and frustrated, and, in the worst situations, these feelings can lead to animosity, with all the consequences of the case.

Hence, patience is one of the characteristics most needed by every human being. Obviously, a quality to be instilled into children from an early age. Because we cannot learn to swim during a storm in the sea. Firstly, by being an exemplar in their lives as teachers, parents and educators ―and we know how when educating children, a lot of patience, as well as tolerance is required!

Secondly by creating a conducive learning environment to help children bring forth their inherent nature, which manifests in the Human Values of Truth, Righteousness, Peace, Love and Nonviolence.

What is the etymology of the word “Patience”?

Patience derives from the Latin word patientia, meaning “suffering and endurance” and is associated to the latin verb patior, which has its origin in the Greek word pathos, standing for “that which happens to a person, what one experiences, good or bad”.

This means that “patience” endows us with the quality to endure, and to physically, mentally and spiritually bear pains, hardships and trials, without fretfulness or discontent, possessing equanimity against trouble, problems, or inconveniences, and diversified forms of suffering, including when one is criticized and provoked. Patience makes us strong! It is the capacity to know how to wait, tolerate, forebear, accept and, last but not least, to forgive. When patience becomes more and more integrated in our personality it endows us with courage and self-confidence.

The major challenge

Among the challenges that our practice of patience implies there is especially one that has to do with the ability to remain calm. However, the challenge is not to achieve a state of mere calm and tranquillity, but to maintain one’s poise when things are not as we expect them to be.

That is, when things don't happen:

- At the speed we expect.

- With the response we want.

- In the way we have foreseen.

Have you noticed what lies behind these three expressions? Yes! The contrary of patience – i.e. impatience – which is aroused when our expectations are not met with! And that is when our ego is put to test!

This shows how mastering the value of patience strictly relates to our own self-control, which is why we can measure our degree of patience by our success in remaining centered when facing undesirable circumstances. By practicing patience, we learn to accept and appreciate all of our experiences in life, each as a precious gift, independent of whether the outcome may be favourable, pleasant and positive, or unfavourable, unpleasant and negative. In other words, the value of patience can also be associated to both stoicism and determination.

The impact of Patience

"Anger drives a man to do what he ought not to do, and patience counsels him to do what is right". 

Yoga Vasishtha, P. 163

The cultivation of Patience is a continuous learning process that teaches us the art of Self-observation.  Only by observing our impulses, thoughts and feelings can we detect when we are running out of it, when we need that extra effort… one more time. This is how we discover new strategies and resources, and learn more about ourselves, grasping the deeper reasons behind our lack of patience.

“Patience” is one of the gateways to Righteousness. By having patience when our expectations are not met, we foster a state of stillness, of pause, of observation that allows time for careful and serene reflection. It fosters a state of internalization that prevents us from acting on the spur of the moment, from automatic and unconscious impulses and gives way to the possibility of choosing a better attitude or behaviour.

Patience: a virtue to rediscover

Unfortunately, the “Queen of virtues” has been wiped out and replaced by the frenetic pace of today’s world. There seems to be no more space – or time – for patience. The current trends and fast electronic exchanges are setting our schedules, and we tend to not even notice how nervous we may become because an email just sent has not yet received a reply, or our PC takes a few seconds longer to turn on! Today, to know “how to wait” – and learn that time does heal, repair and give shape to many things - has become a rare quality; in its place the habit of getting what one wants with “a click”, is deviously setting in.

“Reduce 10kg of body weight in one week.”

“Get rich in one month.”

“Find your perfect job, now!”

However, learning and achieving lasting goals implies a longer process and cannot be reached without patience, and its sister value of perseverance. If we want quality results, and to be able to sustain them, we need patience.

When we plant a seedling, it doesn’t sprout at once. It takes a long time and a lot of care for it to grow; we need to wait and endure the waiting, until the day the seed becomes a plant, and after that for a still longer period, until the plant finally gives the flowers or the fruits it is meant for. Agriculturists know what it means to wait to see their fields sprout and flourish; and in the mean time they need to endeavour in meticulous daily work and care, if they wish to reap their harvest. It is the same with the cultivation of our heart. We need to also have patience with ourselves! With patience and dedication, we can achieve anything in life.

When and with whom do we need to practice patience?

We need to practice patience always, with everyone around us, especially with the people we love and we spend a lot of time with, at home, at work, within the community. Naturally, we need to have patience with those people with whom we have difficult relationships. As we become more conscious of the need for patience, we will notice when we have little to give, or when our patience is wearing thin! 

Our patience is put to test when we are driving or queuing up at a bus stop, waiting in line at a grocery store, at the doctors or at the bank, and when dealing with other people. We need to learn how to listen to their points of view without interrupting, or becoming upset due to differences of views and cultural backgrounds.

Patience is the art of living. It reminds us to to give time to others and ourselves to live our lives and learn from living.

Inspiration from Sathya Sai

The Sanskrit word Kshamā means Patience, but it also implies tolerance, forbearance and Love. Sathya Sai has said that Kshamā is a pillar for our lives and when we “lose it”, everything collapses. We cannot live without it. He has added that

“This virtue is best cultivated under adverse circumstances, and one must therefore gladly welcome troubles instead of regarding them as unwelcome. Difficulties help one to nurse and build the capacity for patience, as the example of the Pandavas clearly shows. When they were in power and authority, the Pandavas were somewhat deficient in kshamā but once they went into exile and had to face numerous hardships, Kshamā automatically began to develop in them. Thus, times of distress offer the ideal opportunity for the development of patience and forbearance. In fact, pain and kshamā go together, because kshamā grows best in an environment of sorrow and misery. However, because of mental weakness as well as ignorance, we invariably shun painful experiences and distress. You should not be weak; be brave and welcome troubles. Let them come, more the merrier. It is only with such a courageous attitude that you would be able to bring out the Kshamā hidden within you. Can you get promoted to a higher class without passing an examination? It is only when you secure the prescribed marks and pass the examination that you are declared eligible to advance to the next higher class. While preparing for the examination you have to face stress and many difficulties but how sweet is the promotion! So, welcome troubles as tests that prepare you for higher things”. 

Do not mistake patience with passivity

Finally, let’s remember that patience is not a sign of passivity or laziness. Having patience does not mean that we accept a situation and adapt to it with submission. On the contrary, patience is an active effort, activated within ourselves with full intention and awareness; an effort to remain calm and serene when confronted with challenges of any kind. Patience requires our full ability to be concentrated in the “here and now”, with equipoise and balance.

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Two powerful examples of PATIENCE

When the British poet William Ernest Henley was 16 years old, his left leg required amputation owing to complications arising from tuberculosis. In the early 1870s, after seeking treatment for problems with his other leg at Margate, he was told that it would require a similar procedure.

He instead chose to travel to Edinburgh in August 1873 to enlist the services of the distinguished English surgeon Joseph Lister, who was able to save Henley's remaining leg after multiple surgical interventions on the foot. While recovering in the infirmary, he was moved to write the verses that became the poem "Invictus". A memorable evocation of Victorian stoicism—the "stiff upper lip" of self-discipline and fortitude in adversity, which popular culture rendered into a British character trait—"Invictus" remains a cultural touchstone. 

Poem “Invictus”

Out of the night that covers me

Black as the pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

 

In the fell clutch of circumstance,

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeoning of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

 

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

 

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate

I am the captain of my soul.

(Source: en.wikipedia.org)

 

This was the poem that inspired Nelson Mandela many times during his 28 years of imprisonment. That is why the film about Mandela's life was given the name Invictus. Mandela is another example of PATIENCE coupled with values such as perseverance and determination to achieve a noble purpose, and what ultimately strengthens his character and enables him upon release from prison to continue his life mission in order to liberate his people from oppression.

 

ANNEX:

What happens to our body, emotions and thoughts when we do or do not activate “Patience”?

Given the impact it has on our lives, its power is immense. Let’s see how:

IMPATIENCE	PATIENCE
Body reactions   - Muscle tension - Stiffness - Fatigue - High blood pressure	Body reactions   - Relaxation - Flexibility - Vigour - Normal blood pressure
Emotional reactions   - Irritability - Despair - Anguish - Worry - Moodiness	Emotional reactions   - Tolerance - Calm observation - Comfort - Confidence - Good mood
Thoughts   - Tendency to be judgmental - Irony - Finding culprits - Destructive	Thoughts   - Understanding - Tendency to value others  - Seeks own responsibility - Constructive
Behaviours   - Aggressiveness - Rough movements and gestures - Shouting - Cursing - Demanding	Behaviours   - Gentleness - Soft body language - Speak soflty - Blessing - Asking kindly
Spiritual consequences   - Loss of inner connection - “Going backwards” - Becoming blocked	Spiritual consequences   - Maintaining inner connection - Spiritual thriving - Getting liberated